


Acting Human

by FahcLove



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Demon Shane Madej, Demons, Ghosts, Just Friends, Not shipping - Freeform, Not shyan, i dont know how to write banter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 17:19:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13792455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FahcLove/pseuds/FahcLove
Summary: When a deal you make with a human goes wrong and you're stuck in the human world for what seems like an eternity, especially when you have no idea what humans are like is probably the worst punishment you could ever experience. But when you're Shane Madej, you figure it out. Mostly by acting.





	Acting Human

**Author's Note:**

> I pumped this out in less than a day! Go me! I love Demon!Shane sm but there is so little written so I had to make my own
> 
> Also, not Shane/Ryan....like at all. Just two boys being best friends and living life!! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

    Shane, for all of his mistakes, was a pretty good actor. Well, he was pretty good at acting like a human, especially with the real humans that surrounded him. Getting trapped in the human world through a deal going sour wasn’t exactly what he was hoping for in his career as a demon, but he survived.

    Luckily, his demon powers were still in tact, and the glamour spell to remove his horns was easy, so he didn’t have to worry about drawing attention to anyone.

    He started out as the lowest tier of humans, grocery worker. It was agonizing work, but he needed the money and it helped him meet his first ever human, a man named C.C. Tinsley, who was as abnormal as his name. Shane had to adapt his personality, hiding his manipulative and evil tendencies to gain Tinsley’s trust, so Shane could share apartments with him. (Tinsley wasn’t his friend. Just another person to use. At least, that’s what SHane told himself.)

    Soon he decided to move up in the world, talking a job at a cafe, a place just a little above being a grocer, but not by much. This time he learned how to be welcoming and how to make excellent lattes, all while trying out different human foods. Shane didn't need food to survive, but he learned that doughnuts and croissants were very tasty, especially straight from an oven. (The cook was amazing. But Shane would never tell anyone that.)

    Next, Shane tried being a telemarketer, but that only lasted a few months. Strangely, almost all of the people he talked to on the phone would die from heart attacks a few weeks after talking to him. Shane couldn’t help but smile to himself when he read their names in the newspaper.

    Finally Shane settled on being an intern at a place called Buzzfeed. He originally signed up to be a journalist, due to his increased interest in human affairs outside of whatever state he was in, but he ended up in being in most of their videos instead. And he was fine with it. He was very good at acting human, and now he was being paid to act extra human for a hundred thousand of people. He slowly grew to know most of the staff that worked with him, Steven, Andrew, Adam and Ryan.

    Ryan Bergara was the most interesting human he had known since C.C. Tinsley, but Shane never realized until Bergara approached him one day asking Shane if he wanted to join a show about unsolved crimes and ghost stories.

    It took every part of Shane’s body not to laugh. Shane, a demon, being asked to talk about ghosts? In front of the whole world? It was laughable. Which is why Shane agreed.

    Now, a year or so later and Shane had seen and heard more unsolved crimes he ever expected to know and had seen a dozen or so ghosts and demons in the many places him and Ryan had traveled to. (He stopped calling him Bergara. It probably meant nothing.)

    And they were travelling to another. An old, dilapidated church overrun with ghosts of those persecuted when the church overthrew the government. And there was supposed to be a demon there.

    “Shane are you even listening to me?” Ryan asked, hitting Shane lightly on the shoulder.

    “I am. I was just...thinking,” Shane said, hitting Ryan back.

    “About what?”

    “About life before this. It sucked.”

    Ryan laughed, “Well, I’m glad Unsolved could make it better,” Ryan smiled at him and Shane found himself smiling back. (It was just acting, he told himself.)

    “Let’s head into this creepy church!” Shane exclaimed, grabbing a stick off the ground to use as some sort of baton. Ryan followed, laughing.

    After they found a place to sit, in one of the molded pews, Ryan told the story of the church, Shane chiming in witty one-liners. Shane watched the ghosts wander around them, all giving Shane a wide berth. He noticed two girls were watching him intently and he winked at them. The girls screamed and vanished, probably going to haunt another room.

    Ryan stopped talking, “Did you hear something Shane?” he asked, looking over near the area where the two girls were.

    “I think I heard something, like the wind. So spooky!” Shane lied and Ryan paused, then shrugged, continuing on his explanation of the ghosts that lived there.

    “And finally, there is rumored that was demon resides in the Priest’s Quarters or the Confessional Box. People believe that the demon possessed the priest, which is why he began to kill so many people. The demon’s name is rumored to be Azazon, which is written on the priest’s side in the Confessional Box. He is said to have a human-like appearance with large goat horns, and goat feet, much like the demon at Goatman’s Bridge.”

    “I believe you mean Shane and Ryan’s Bridge. The Goatman never did show himself,” Shane clarifies, laughing with Ryan. Truly, he is very worried. Most of the demons him and Ryan had run into were on the lowest tier of demons, but Shane had knew Azazon, and Azazon was _mean_ , especially to humans. (Not that he cared about Ryan or the other cameraman. Not at all.)

    “Okay, much like the demon at Shane and Ryan’s Bridge. That being said, there is no confirmation that the demon is here. It could’ve just been the work of an evil man,” Ryan finished, and the cameras turned off, getting ready for the exploration of the church, “ready to find some ghosts Shane?”

    Shane grinned, “I’m ready to see you get freaked out by some wind again.”

    “I wasn’t freaked out!”

    “Yeah you were. I saw the look on your face.”

    “What look?”

    “The ‘Oh Is That A Ghost?’ look,” Shane recreated the look, big eyes and an open mouth while saying Ryan’s look in his Gene voice.

    “Yeah right,” Ryan said, and almost ran over to the room they were starting at first.

    “What was that for?”

    “It’s the only way I can beat you with your huge legs.”

    Both Shane and Ryan laughed, getting ready to film. Shane peaked inside the room and saw the two girls sitting in the center holding hands. One of them saw him and stood to move, but Shane stepped back, leaving the girls alone. (He only did this so Ryan could say he heard a ghost. Not because those girls looked scared of him and he didn’t want people to be scared of him anymore. Not that at all.)

    The cameramen were ready and Ryan entered the room, Shane following a few steps behind to give the girls some room. Both of them stood up, but Shane tried to make himself as unthreatening as possible, stilling watching Ryan as he tried to talk to them. The girls followed his gaze and saw Ryan. they both relaxed and Shane found himself smiling. (Not because he was happy for them. Because he was happy something would happen this episode.)

    “So, there are also rumored to be ghosts of two females, killed because of their love for each other,” Ryan said, and Shane saw one of the girls flinch, “Sara, Julie, are either of you here? If so, please do something to make yourselves known.”

    “Father Thomas would be very upset Ryan,” Shane said, and Ryan rolled his eyes, “Sara or Julie, if either of your are here, I want you to whisper something very nice in my friend Ryan’s ear.”

    “No don’t do that!” Ryan exclaimed, turning around and looking behind him, “Sara or Julie, please kick my friend Shane instead.”

    Shane laughed and saw the girls head over to Ryan and grab his arm, making his flashlight flicker off.

    “Well would you look at that,” Shane said and Ryan screamed.

    “I felt something touch me!” he exclaimed and Shane laughed.

    “Sure you did. It was probably just the wind. Look, the window’s wide open.”

    Ryan relaxed and tried to turn his flashlight back on, “Maybe, but my flashlight turned off and I just put in new batteries.”

    “They’re cheap flashlights, Ryan.”

    Ryan sighed, “Sure. Let’s get out of here.”

    Shane laughed, and once everyone had left, blew a small kiss to Sara and Julie, who waved.

    Shane and Ryan went to room after room of the church, exploring and trying to talk to ghosts. Well, the ghosts that Shane didn’t end up scaring away, which was a lot. Finally the two of them made their way back to the front of the church, the Confessional Box. Shane sent Ryan in first to talk to the demon and went to go to the bathroom when he was stopped by an invisible force.

    “Azazon,” he growled out and the demon revealed herself. Shane let his glamour fall and turned off his camera.

    “Rhayth. Or should I call you Shane?” she growled back and Shane grimaced. He knew the longer he stayed in his human form the more demons would hate him for it.

    “Look, I got stuck in a deal. I went to take some guy’s soul, but his soul had been taken by Ulrich a year before. And our deal stated that I would remain on Earth until I receive his soul so I’ve been stuck here!” he explained, but she shook her head.

    “You could’ve contacted any of us down below and we would’ve grabbed his soul, but you didn’t. You decided to stay here, with the _humans_ . And by the way you were acting with this one, I’d say you _like it here_ ,” she spat out, “I’ve decided to help you see your true form. You’re not one of them Rhayth. You never will be,” she swiped her clawed hands out, and Shane jumped back.

    “Of course I don’t belong here,” Shane said, dodging her attacks, “I’ve just been waiting it out until I could be free. Earth isn’t that bad, but it does suck in a lot of ways. I hate this place from the minute that I was stuck up here.”

    “Then why stay?”

    Shane stopped. He...didn’t know. Nothing about Earth was amazing, the food was fine, most of the people were jerks and capitalism was stupid. _So why did he want to stay?_ He thought about all the goodness in Earth, laughing with his “friends”, watching viewers enjoy a video, eating good food, going out on a vacation. There was so much bad in Earth. But there was also some good.

    “Because Azazon. I found the good. I found it in Buzzfeed, the company I work for, in Buzzfeed Unsolved, my job. In Ryan, my coworker and my friend and yes, a human. I may be a demon, but Earth is life-changing,” he said, smiling. Azazon stopped trying to attack him.

    Azazon huffed, “You may like it now Rhayth, but some day your human “friend” will die and you will be all alone. And then you will have to walk over my corpse to come back, I promise you.”

    Shane smiled, “I’ll be looking forward to it.”

    Azazon disappeared in a cloud of smoke and Shane turned his camera back on, walking back down the hallway to Ryan and the cameramen when he ran into Ryan.

    “Shane!” Ryan exclaimed, “you went on a pretty long bathroom break.”

    “I couldn’t find the bathroom,” Shane laughed, “so I had to improvise.”

    “Eck, gross.”

    “It’s just peeing Ryan, everyone does it.”

    “Yeah but you don’t have to talk about it.”

    “But it’s a normal thing. Ryan, did something happen to you when you were peeing? Is that why you’re embarrassed?”

    “Shut up Shane. It’s your turn to talk to the demon.”

    “Okay, here I go. Heyo demon, it’s Shane, back at it again.”

    And as Shane talked to nothing for two minutes, he smiled to himself. (But it wasn’t about the fact that he and Ryan are friends. Or about the fact that he cares about Earth. Okay, it probably way. No, it definitely was.)


End file.
